The following is a post from the blog of a prominent pastor. I’ve debated with myself as to whether to identify him. One thing I try to avoid with this blog is the sniping tit-for-tat atmosphere of the blogosphere. In fact, I agree with his points on several levels. With that in mind, I’ve decided to keep this as anonymous as possible. If you recognize the post please don’t try to make this a divisive thing, ’cause it ain’t and that dog just won’t hunt here. I don’t know this pastor personally and I am making absolutely no accusation toward him. You will “recognize them by their fruit” and from all I’ve seen at a distance is that he’s bearing some great fruit.
In other cases, with which I am personally familiar, I’m noticing a disappointing trend over the last few years. Following this particular pastor’s post are my thoughts on this trend.
Some pastors may be tempted to read my comments and reply, “Yeh, but they started it.” You’ll receive no argument from me there. Yes, they did start it. Frankly, I don’t care. Our command is to love God because He first loved us, not love people because they first loved us. If you’re a pastor and waiting for them to love you first…well, it ain’t gonna happen.
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One of the lessons I’ve learned while being in the ministry for the past 17 years is sometimes what people say isn’t exactly true…things such as…
(WARNING…you will probably only like this post if you are a pastor or a staff member of a church!)
What They Say: “I’m looking for a church that preaches the Word!”
What They Mean: “I’m looking for a church that preaches MY view of the Word. I think the BLANK translation should be used…I think BLANK should be talked about a lot while BLANK should be ignored. And if you ever stop preaching my view of the Word I will leave and tell others that you don’t preach the Word!”
What They Say: “Lot’s of people have been coming to me and saying they don’t like is…”
What They Mean: “I basically only have three friends…and all of them think exactly like me. The other night we were enjoying a time of self righteousness because, after all, we are right about everything…and were also slandering you (in the form of prayer requests) and thought it would be wise to approach you with our pet peeve. We’ve actually talked to no one else about this but said “lots” because we wanted to validate our dysfunction.”
What They Say: “I’m leaving the church.”
What They Mean: “Beg me to stay. If you will just ask me I will share with you several ways you can compromise God’s vision that He’s given you, thus becoming nothing more than a people pleasing pastor who is more interested in popularity than obedience. If you don’t bow to my demands I will remind you that I tithe and that the church needs my money, reducing you to a mere preaching whore…one who is paid for a service for the pleasure of another person.”
What They Say: “I want a church that is more focused on discipleship.”
What They Mean: “I want a church where everyone knows me and how important I am! I don’t want to reach people who are different from me, be it economic class or race or even musical preference. I already know WAY more than I do…but I somehow equate spirituality with knowledge rather than application and I rather enjoy feeling intellectually superior to those who don’t know as much as me.”
What They Say: “Don’t take this personally…but…”
What They Mean: “I am about to lower the BOOM on you…but you can’t get angry because I told you not to take it personally. Even though you have dedicated your life to this and pretty much invest every ounce of energy you have to this cause…and I think about it once or twice a week…you need to receive my attacks, even when they are personal…and you cannot retaliate because, remember, it’s not personal.”
OKAY, that was fun! I typed it all with a smile. Trust me…I’m not mad or frustrated with anyone…I just thought a pastor or two MIGHT get a smile out of this.
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I’ve gotta say that I’m not smiling. As a pastor, my heart hurts. In WCN’s ministry consultation with pastors I’m noticing an increase in a “circle the wagons” attitude that is developing among pastors. As I listen to them share frustration with certain elements of their specific ministry I make it a point to ask them why they think the situation (lack of personal evangelism, engagement in worship, etc.) exists. Inevitably, they lay the onus to “get it” on the congregation. “If they just…” seems to be the phrase of choice. In some cases pastors seem downright paranoid and adversarial toward the congregation. With that, not everything disgruntled congregants say needs to be translated.Sometimes they actually say what they mean. Other times it needs to be translated from the language of being hurt.
By the way, isn’t it fascinating that this post required a warning that could be translated by an emotionally hurt congregant as “the average member of a church doesn’t have the leadership perspective we have, so they probably won’t get it.” Yes, those are actually words I heard spoken by the pastor of a mega-church where I served on staff.
Of course, as I write this I realize that I am setting myself up as an example of at least 3, and as many as 5, of the classifications. But, a more accurate translation would be, “I really hope that love does, in fact, cover over a multitude of sins, because I’m really making myself vulnerable here by appearing to disagree with a Christian leader much more prominent than myself and that my intention of iron sharpening iron is accepted and understood.”
As someone who used to be on the inside, i.e. the pastoral role, I understand the defensive mechanisms that are developed by pastors to protect themselves. I used to advocate many of them (including those specifics above).However, after being unceremoniously “kicked to the curb” by some prominent church leaders (not the one who wrote the post) I have to say I understand, and have much more compassion for, those that some pastors think have ulterior motives or hidden meaning. Just like many congregants have “roast pastor” for Sunday dinner, I’ve attended church staff meetings where flamed “EGR” was the featured entre’.
I’m afraid that too many pastors can only lead those that agree with them and have been deemed successful because they have found thousands of like minded individuals to join their congregations. In my opinion, that’s not leadership. It’s an accidental parade. Real leaders can lead diversity. Alas, to my disappointment, John Maxwell didn’t use my suggestion for his current book, “Loving the Unlovable and Leading the Unleadable.”
Not everyone who disagrees with the pastor, brings an idea from another church, doesn’t speak the Shibboleth, etc. needs to be told “get thee behind me, Satan.” When God brings a person to a church their baggage (experiences, passions, personality, hurts) comes with them. I would suggest that this fact hasn’t surprised God in the least and that in fact He may have intended it. In a strange twist of irony, one of the greatest lessons I learned at the specific church that “kicked me to the curb” is that “hurting people , hurt people.” So, when that “annoying” congregant from another church hurts “your” church (that’s a completely different subject) it is most likely because they are hurting. Consider it an honor that God would bring such hurting “sheeple” to your wide-open place and trust you with their healing.
Please allow me to offer some alternative translations to those listed above. These are from the perspective of one who has been hurt. They come from several years of listening to those people that churches have dismissed as “un-whatever.”
“I’m looking for a church that preaches the Word!”
Translation: “I’ve got some theological baggage I’m working through. I’m not sure I know your Shibboleth and I probably don’t know that I don’t know. It would be great if this is a church where people love me even when I don’t use the right terminology.”
“Lots of people have been coming to me and saying…”
Translation: “I’ve seen the patronizing, condescending ridicule thrown at people who have disagreed with leadership in the past and I’m too vulnerable to put myself out there like that, so I’ll hide behind some ‘straw-men.’”
Alt. Translation: “There really are a lot of people coming to me, but they’ve all been hurt before and I’m the only one naive enough to try to live out Matthew 18:15 around here.”
“I want a church that is more focused on discipleship”
Translation: “Wow, Barna was right.There really is a huge disconnect between what pastors think the spiritual health of the congregation is and what the average congregant experiences.”
“Don’t take this personally, but…”
Translation: “Hurting people, hurt people. I’m not really attacking you, I’m just really hurting right now and you’re in my line of fire.Just like Jesus said, ‘They will treat you this way because of Me…’I might not know this, but I kind of hope you, as pastor, do.”(By the way, yes, I do know that it goes on to identify them as the ones that, “…do not know the One who sent me.”Someone unsaved in church deserves just as much ‘loving into the Kingdom’ as one on the outside.)
Alt. translation: “Even though I don’t know it, I’m desperately looking for a pastor that lives out what he preaches about loving people. Are you him? I wonder if you actually read The Beatitudes…in particular v. 11-12. I feel pretty unlovable, but have never met anyone that loves me enough to help me get out of my own way.Will you love me inspite of myself.”
Finally, yes, some sheep really do need an ocassional “dope-slap.” (My word to congregations is, “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy…” Are you making your leaders’ work a joy?) Unfortunately, there seems to be a trend toward that being the first pastoral option, rather than the last.
Aren’t we grateful that God doesn’t treat us pastors as we too often treat those He’s given us to feed, regardless of how they treat us.
P.S. Sorry to drop this during Pastor Appreciation Month. I write ‘em as they come to me.
It’s been a long time since I posted anything on leadership, so here goes. What follows is a link to a great site called lifehack.org and an article called “10 Great Ways to Crush Creativity.” lifehack.org isn’t a “Christian” site, but I do have to say that many of their principles are just Scripture applied (truth is truth).
Following the link I’ve listed “churchy” paraphrases of Mr. Sloane’s witticisms. These paraphrases are compiled from attitudes we at Worship Concepts Network have encountered at a few select churches among the many we have partnered with. The irony is that these comments were made at some of the churches that sought us out to help them increase their quotient of innovation, creativity and effectiveness. OK, I couldn’t resist the sarcasm, go figure…
1. That’s questionable etymology/hermeneutics/eschatology and doesn’t properly translate the original Hebrew/Greek/Pig Latin I studied for my MDiv/DMin/PhD/XyZPdQ at Muchsmarterthan U. Seminary.
2. Too many ideas muddy the waters; the church needs clear direction from the Senior Pastor. Jesus didn’t have a committe, He had disciples. (This, of course, ignores the fact that very few pastors are Jesus and that “we are the body,”not ‘he’ (i.e. the pastor) is the body.”
3. The congregation just doesn’t have the Pastor and staff’s leadership perspective. They couldn’t possibly grapple with this issue.
4. We already have a clear vision of the Great Commission; we just need to apply it like we did in the good old days.
5. Vocational ministry is a lonely business which requires 80-90 hours work per week;I just need to keep my nose to the grindstone. If I just apply everthing thing I learned from Tony Robbins/Steven Covey/David Allen I can do all the ministry of my church; after all, I am the Senior Pastor.
6. People are still people. Regardless of the current drop in involvement, our strategy has worked for the last ninety years. Besides, the internet and social-networking are just a fad much like radio and TV.
7. The Pastor-Parish Relationship Committee requests your presence at meeting convened to review the Video Game Night that resulted in Kool-aid stains on the Fellowship Hall carpet (in spite of the attendance by 300 teens who would not have otherwise darkened the doorstep of a church in one million years).
*The contemporary version of this is: That didn’t seem to be your sweetspot; we didn’t set you up for a win…let’s try you in this position that we haven’t equipped you for, you have no passion to fulfill and will probably result in your being miserable and leaving the church. That way we’ll be able to tell people that it wasn’t our fault at all, but was because you didn’t fit as a team player.
8. part a. That may have worked at other churches, but we don’t do things that way here. You might not be a good “mix” here.
8. part b. We’ve been pillars of this church for decades (centuries). Inviting the Lutheran/Mehtodist/Baptist/etc. church from down the street to join us in starting a soup kitchen might theologically confuse people.
9. Contempt breeds comtempt. (OK, we’ve never heard a church leader actually say that, but many of them promote only from within and then wonder why there aren’t any fresh ideas or that poor attitudes stay the same from one leader to the next.)
10. This isn’t rocket-surgery; it’s just ministry in an increasingly diverse and everchanging culture. The principles that we learned in seminary at Smarterthan U. forty years ago still apply; people are people, afterall.
I recently had a discussion with the senior pastor of a moderately large church. In the conversation he voiced his displeasure with “tweeting” comments related to the message during sermons; even if those tweets are in support of the points being made. Leaving aside for a moment that he spoke, by his own admission, from a certain amount of ignorance regarding twitter and social networking at large; by that I refer specifically to a lack of knowledge concerning the archival possibilities of using hashmarks in twitter or the spiritual implications of a “virtual amen shoutout” to friends who might be worshiping at the far reaches of the planet (a personal practice I have acquired and thoroughly enjoy). I also didn’t press him on the fact that texting can be even more efficient and less distracting than taking notes on those glossy scraps of paper provided in most bulletins, and destroys many less trees.
Regardless of our feelings toward all things social-media, the game has changed significantly. Just ask print and broadcast media outlets. It’s here folks. We can either embrace it’s power just as was done with the Gutenberg Bible or we can realize how futile the grasp of authoritarianism is just as the Chinese are learning on the 20th anniversary of Tienanmen Square.
A particular point should be considered by those that broadcast Christian content (the church led by this particular pastor is included in this group). I’ll allow the video to speak for itself on this matter. Those that don’t get this point are…well, it would be like pointing out the obvious to the oblivious.
In the interest of full disclosure I have gone on record advocating and endorsing tweeting during services: actual tweet in response to a twitter question regarding tweeting, “@gregsurrat absolutely OK to tweet in church…it’s like a virutal AMEN shout out to each other in different churches!” By the way, this particular tweet holds my personal record for the most retweets. The caveat is that the tweets should be related directly to a positive response to the sermon.
Anyway, we can either try to control the Message from a central location and become dinosaurs or we can allow the Spirit to redeem even the new media of social networking and allow the Body of Christ to finally break out of the walls of our churches just as we’ve been praying.
Again, I’ll allow the video to speak to this point.
The video that follows is part of the TED Talks series @ the State Department.
Check this out from Bob Hostetler’s blog “Desperate Pastor“! Then read Hebrews 13:14, “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.”
How often do we make a leader’s job joyful? Our culture is one of making trouble for authority. Everywhere you look people are encouraged to question authority. This idea is nowhere in scripture, yet most churches have an adversarial role between pastor and congregation (BTW, did you know that a flock of vultures is known as a “committee”…hmmm). Knowing how optimistic most pastors are when they start out I doubt that the problem is primarily with them.
When a congregation, or any individual, rebels against its pastor they are really rebelling against God. In his letter to the Roman church Paul says that there is no authority over us other than what God has put there. So, if you have a problem with the authority over you the first place to complain is to God, but only after you have also thanked God for His placing that hedge of protection over you.
Here, in Hebrews, Paul goes a step further under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Don’t just begrudgingly submit, but make being a leader a joy.
“The Lord said to Moses, “Take the staff…speak to the rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water…then Moses struck the rock twice with his staff…But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in Me enough to honor Me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.” Selected excerpts from Numbers 20: 7-12
This story takes place in the last year of wandering for the Israelites. Forty or so years earlier God had brought water out of a rock (Ex. 17). This is the second time God commanded Moses to take his staff to a rock. This is the same staff that God caused to bud as proof of who He had chosen to lead the Israelites (Num. 17). This is also the same staff that is “to be kept as a sign to the rebellious.” Its purpose was to “put an end to their grumbling against” God so that the Israelites wouldn’t die.
At first glance it seems a bit harsh that God would ban Moses and Aaron from entering the Promised Land. In fact, tucked away in this second story of the gushing rock is the phrase “So Moses took the staff from the Lord’s presence, just as He commanded him.” But, this was only partial obedience and partial obedience is disobedience. Moses relied on his traditionalism when he thought he was standing on tradition established by God* (see below). Another way to say it is that he was practicing religion of God when he needed to trust his relationship with God.
I’m not sure if Moses and Aaron panicked. They probably did to some extent. I would have. They were coming to the end of their bizarre odyssey. The end was in sight, the Promised Land was just over the horizon. But, the whining, petty, ingrate Israelites were about to blow the whole deal…again. They needed to be put in their place or another sentence of forty years would be handed down.
All Moses and Aaron had to do was point to the budding staff and say, “hush up, now!” That staff was given by God for specifically this type of situation. I don’t know if they forgot about it or if they didn’t believe it would work or what…but, they didn’t use the tool God had given them. I could write about what happens when leaders don’t use the tools God give them, but that’s not where I’m going. I could also spend several paragraphs writing about what happens when leaders work out of their frustration. But, what I want to explore is how we, as leaders, try to recreate what only God can create.
The first gushing rock was a great success to be sure. The Isrealites were faced with overwhelming odds: starvation, dehydration, an impending battle. God specifically told Moses to strike the rock and, voila, it gushed water. This was immediately followed by a great victory of the Amalekites. Why wouldn’t Moses think the same formula would work again? So, he woops up on the rock. In fact, he hits it a second time. Maybe it was out of anger that Moses took his wind up and went, “wap-wap” in quick succession. But, I suspect it went more like this…
Back when God spoke to Moses at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting all Moses heard was, “Take the staff…to the rock.” In his heart Moses most likely said, “OK, God, I remember what we did last time. I’ve got it from here.”
Whoa…wait just a minute. “What we did last time? There was no we there, Lone Ranger.” Back in “Gushing Rock I” God said, “I will stand there before you by the rock.” God was already at the rock…He had already primed it…He had already done the work. Moses could have tripped and fell with the staff hitting the rock and it would have gushed water.
Now at “Gushing Rock: The Sequel” I suspect Moses stormed over to the rock and took a hefty whack driven by his frustration with the Isrealites. He probably heaved his chest, raised his arms in triumph and waited for his moment of glory for recreating the wonderful climax of Gushing Rock I.
Nothing happens…cue crickets chirping in the silence of the dessert.
Not even a bubble of water seeped to the surface of the rock. But, maybe Moses’ frustration with God was starting to bubble. “I did exactly what we did last time! Why don’t you have my back, Mr. Burning Bush Great I Am!!! I’ll show you all!” There may have even been a torrent of “bowling words” as Mr. I’m Slow of Tongue spit on his hands and, just like Mighty Casey at the Bat, took his back swing and whooped up on the rock a second time. It was probably out of pity for the poor rock “that never did nothin’ to nobody” that God brought forth water.
Before we look down our noses at the pitiful sight of Moses getting the tongue lashing he deserves from God (Num. 20:12) we need to take a look in the mirror. As leaders how many times have we witnessed God do something great in our ministry? It might have been a spiritual breakthrough. For me, as a worship leader, it most often takes the form of a great moment in a worship service; one of those moments when you can feel the Spirit of God sweep over the room like a hurricane and the pastor comes to the pulpit to go straight to the invitation/alter call/decision moment without a sermon. People rush the altar. Repentance breaks through; revival breaks out. It was probably even during one of those otherwise mundane moments in the service when only God can split open the rock and let His spirit gush all over the people. We relish the moment giving Him the glory for doing something only He could have done.
Until the next time we think we’re in a similar situation. Then we get all full of ourselves and try to formulate it. “What was it I said to create that moment, what song did we sing that spoke to people, what did we do to convict people like that, what was it about us that encouraged so many?” we search frantically for the formula. Then we get frustrated with ourselves, the people and God when the formula doesn’t work. For goodness, sake! What are we thinking? We’re trying to do what only God can do. We’re trying to be God! For reasons we can never understand, because our thoughts are selfish and, therefore, are not God’s thoughts, He created that moment for that time for His purpose and His glory. It’s not our business, right or even privilege to recreate it. But, God is doing a new thing…not old things.
It’s what I call “glory hijacking.” And we all try it. We need to stop. We’re not God and He’s not just a great big us. Our job is simply to stand next to The Rock and let Him be God. We need to learn to obey; do what He says…nothing more, nothing less.
Then watch the water gush. It’ll be like drinking water from a fire hydrant…um, more like Niagra Falls.
*”Traditionalisms are the dead faith of the living. Traditions are the living faith of the dead.” The first half of this quote is attributed to Jaroslav Pelikan in his book “The Melody of Theology”. However, only the first have can be attributed directly to him. The second half remains attributed to my favorite quotist, anonymous.
